Mood:  lazy
I know I haven't posted anything in a long time, and I apologize for being so addicted to playing L2 that I have been neglecting some other things I used to do, such as this.
But luckily the server has been brought down for mantainence, and that means I have a while for posting!

Lately my life is kinda weird, it seems like i wake up, and next time I look at the time, it's time to go to bed again.
There's not anything new, the only thing that has changed after I quit my job is that soon I'll be booking my holidays I'm gonna have in the US by fall.

I hope you're all okay, some more than others :P

-Erika

Mood:  quizzical
Yesterday I must have slept about 13 hrs.
When I woke up this morning to go to work, for ONCE,
I actually was awake.
From here I would like to thank Matt's hdtv for that.
My job is getting sucky as I get to know more about WHAT is my role on that job.
I think having a whole company under my responsability is too big for me at the moment.

And it turns out that, even though I really don't
wanna go anywhere today, I'm being forced to meet up with a certain someone I used to be crazy for, and who I think wants me really bad now, according to what I can see.
I wonder what it feels like to look at him these days and not feel anything at all.
I may know in a few hours.

Sometimes when you are so crazy for someone, they
don't make any moves, you think they don't care about you, so you move on, and then some time later they come back for you because they want you bad, but you've already moved on.
Sigh.
Why do these things always happen.

And then I look around me and I realize that I don't even have what I want anyway.

HOW frustrating.

Mood:  crushed out
I just got back from my first day on this new job, and I must say it seems pretty good.
For starters, I can play music, go online and I even have a webcam at work.
Also, my boss takes me out for breakfast and pays for everything.
And all I have to do is basically put papers in order, make a couple of calls, and do stuff on the computer.

The only thing I hate is getting up early.. oh well.

I'm really tired today.
In fact, I swear everything I did since the moment I woke up, my body did it automatically, while my mind was totally gone, as if my body was awake doing things while my mind is still completely asleep.

Has that happened to any of you?
I get it really often, specially the past 3 months.
ALSO today I noticed that alot of guys kept staring at me on the street, I swear, I'm not paranoid, they truly did. Does anyone know why?

I hope you all have a good day, except those of you who suck.
And to those of you who are at work still, I hope you envy me.

AND to Matt C., I've got this craving for this thing I really *fancy*. Sigh.


see ya'll

x <- Thats a kiss. The first person who comments on my blog and remembers to hit submit after the preview, gets it.

Mood:  happy
Have I ever told you that most of the letters on my keyboard are erased?
Everytime someone goes on my pc to do something, they struggle to type.
They say I should buy a new keyboard, but the point is, why should I care whether
the keys are erased or not? I know where each one of them is, so I don't even need to look at them.
I hope you all agree with me about this.

I'm playing this new game called Lineage II, and it's quite addicting, and entertaining.

I'm gonna try and get someone to take me shopping to this HUGE computer store this evening, and see if I can get a few things I need.

I'm not so down today, I'm okay.
I still can't wait for the summer to end, for several reasons. Apart from, obviously, I can't wait for the weather to be colder again :D

I'm starting this new job on Monday at 9'30am..
So I'll let ya'll know how it goes.

Hope you all have a good day, specially Matt C., I hope your job won't suck as much anymore :)


x
-Me

Mood:  down
These days are pretty weird.. And somehow I'm sure theyre gonna be quite remarkable in my life.
I don't know whether that's good or bad...
But I know everybody's life is like this, some worse, some a bit better; but I won't complain.

I'll just take it as it comes, I guess...
No point stressing too much over things.

Yes, I'm down, but I know it won't last forever.
I'm upset and I feel helpless.
But I know everything that I'm doing is for the best, and that's the only thing that makes it all better.
And the only thing that gives me peace of mind and a bit of happiness when I'm so down, is knowing that I'm doing what's right.

I've got so many things in my mind, I focuse so much on some people, I know I'll get over it.


Hope you're all fine.
Keep living


x
-Me

Mood:  down
I had my job interview yesterday, and tomorrow I'm having some kind of second meeting with the one who would be "my boss".
This week is sucking very bad, and I'll probably just end up cutting off my net so don't be shocked if you don't see me online for a long time.
Other than that, somehow my page got screwed up so I had to redo it all over again, lucky I had everything saved so it only took about an hour.
I know this is not really a DAILY blog, but at least i post multiple times per week!
Not everyday I have something to say, do I..?

You all need to send me your holidays pictures.
About making a page called "My online Friends" as requested by a couple of you, I will think about it.

Enjoy your lives.

x
-Me

Mood:  don't ask
So I've finally been called to have a job interview tomorrow at 5pm...
And I'm gonna be upset if after so much hassle it turns out that I'm not interested once I hear the details (schedule, salary etc).

My day is beeing sucky, and my night was sucky as well, so don't be surprised if I don't talk to any of you anytime soon, I may just spend time away from my computer.
If I get this job I will barely come online, but I will continue posting on here so you all know what's going on with me.

I would also like to say thanks to my best friend for always being there for me regardless the hassle I cause.


x
-Me

Mood:  lucky
So does anyone know what time it is?
I don't even know what country I live at anymore, I dont even know where I come from anymore!
I know where I'm going though, which is more important than where you come from.

So is it good knowing what you want?
Or is it bad because, if you know what you want and you don't get it, it ruins your life?

Should we all pretend we don't want anything, and keep it secret to ourselves?
Is it easier to get what you want when you hide it, or when you scream it?

If anyone knows the answer to this questions don't hesitate to pm me on MSN and let me know.

Other than all this, it's quite hot lately here but I know the summer won't last forever, which I'm happy about.
If anyone knows about a job where I'll get good money while having a good time, other than a whore house, let me know as well.

Keep enjoying your summers and take my advice, don't come to Spain on holidays, it's too hot over here.


x
-Me

Mood:  irritated
Topic: back in Spain
I know I haven't posted for a few days, but anyway all of you know what's been going on.
There's actually been alot going on lately.
The flight was ok except for the 30 minutes of flying in circles without landing, felt abit like jumping off the plane and sitting to wait for the suitcase.

I do have alot of plans of action now, unlike the past 6 months.
So basically I'm just gonna try and follow an order of steps and things to do which are clearly listed in my mind. I guess I'll start being busy from now on, probably not straight away, but very soon.

Hope all of you are okay enjoying your summer which I hate.


x

-Me

Mood:  crushed out
Topic: Going back home
First thing I want to say is..
Wait a second, Matt why are you reading my blog??? Close the window now!
Ok and now that Matt is pretending he closed the window and is not reading this when he truly is, I can continue...

I'm going back home tomorrow...
So I have to go through all the hassle of the airport again, all on my own with no one to help me carry my stuff, which totally sucks.
One day I will have a husband who will carry my bags for me :D oh wait, probably I won't have to travel once I'm married cause I'll live on one place.

So anyway, sorry to all those who I said I would meet up with and never did, because of different reasons and situations.
I do appreciate all of your efforts and your calls and your interest in me, it's good knowing people care.

So I'll tell you all how the flight was, tomorrow :)

x

-Me

Mood:  not sure
So I'm here doing absolutelly nothing everyday, not wanting to do anything either.
Am I meant to know what's wrong with me?
I feel like I've sat back and I'm watching my life pass me by without doing a thing.
Everyone has something to do, everyone has things to look forward to for tomorrow.
I don't have many.

But I'm hoping that will change eventually.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not depressed or anything.
Just so mixed up it feels totally empty.
I'm still happier than I have been in the past, so I guess I won't complain.

I just hope that you people out there who have a life and have things to do, and have things to look forward to, value what you have.
I'm gonna make a cake this evening so I probably won't be online alot.

Btw Rich if you think of a good excuse to meet up before I go back, let me know ;)
I could do with socialising!


-Me

Mood:  special
Is it my imagination, or every time I come to England the weather gets warmer and the sun is out far more often?
I've been told (several times) that I seem to bring the sun every time I come here.

I usually hate the sun, and I usually don't go anywhere in summer because of the fact that I don't want the sun to get anywhere near me.

But today I woke up, there was this huge window open infront of me, and I saw the sky from bed.
And it was sunny, and the clouds were white instead of gray.
And it wasn't bad.
I laid there in bed looking at the sky thinking about my own little things, and I realized I was happy!

I hope all of you are happy too.

Sometimes it seems like everyone is happy except you, like everyone has what they want except you.
But it's easier than we think it is.
Sometimes being happy can be as simple as knowing someone cares!

Enjoy your summer everyone,
but please don't expect me to go to the beach during the day :P

Mood:  crushed out
I will be buying my ticket to go back to Spain shortly, as I'm not doing much here, and I'm broke.
Will probably be going back within a week.
There's a few people I'd like to give this message to:

Rich, Dave, Ben:
I can't seem to catch any of you online, and when you message me I'm usually away :(
Just want to let you know that I'm fine and everything is going as usual.
Rich, judging by how we never talk anymore and how I'm going back very soon, it seems like we're not meeting up this time, I'm sorry about that.

Matt, we probably won't be meeting up this time either :(

I'll let you all know when I'm going back as soon as I know it.
Thank you for caring about me everyone.

Mood:  hug me
Topic: Back in England
I've been back in Bristol for a day now,
the weather is so wonderfully not summer-like, I wish I could put it in a bottle and get it out when I'm back in Spain.
Today I'm feeling lazy, tired, acheing and slightly sad.
It's weird cause I feel sad about the present but at the same time I feel happy about what the future could hold. Which I guess is what I should do, instead of focusing in how right now I don't have any of the things I want, I should start thinking about how in the future I could be alot happier, maybe I won't be unlucky forever.

By the way... My suitcase didn't get stolen... And my pc didn't get broken... :D

Mood:  lyrical
Ok so i'm gonna be flying again tomorrow and i'm slightly nervous.
Yes, the fact that I've got into a plane on my own about 20 times before, doesn't stop me from getting nervous everytime I have to fly again.

What gets me nervous?
No it's not the fact of being in the air high in the sky, no it's not being afraid of death.

What gets ME nervous is being afraid of losing my suitcase, breaking my pc accidentally or not knowing who's gonna be sat next to me.
That's what truly scares me.

So i'm not gonna be ok until I get out of the airport with the suitcase in one hand and my pc on the other... You can call me a freak, and you would be right.

But at the end of the day..
Honestly, can any of you live without your computers?
What would you guys do if your computers died????

Mood:  not sure
Im stupid!

Mood:  lazy
I know there's some of you out there who are abit worried cause i don't spend as much time online as i used to, or because i don't seem to have time to talk to you guys, well i'm not making up any excuses, the truth is that i have been busier lately and when i've been home i didn't really feel like talking to anyone, maybe just one or two good friends and that's it.

Probably when i get back to Bristol next thursday I will spend longer online as i'm gonna have nothing to do, cause i'm only staying a couple of weeks and that doesn't give me enough time to get a job.

But i'm perfectly fine so don't worry about me :)

Mood:  d'oh
Topic: Been busy
Hey there... Been kinda buysy these last couple of days.. And I've already got a ticket to fly over to Bristol next thursday so I guess I'm gonna start being busier on the next days.

I'm quite tired right now, but the good news is that I'm socialising alot and I don't feel as depressed anymore :) .. and also the good news is I've gone shopping and released some anger \o/

Mood:  silly
Topic: At last
Ok so at last I've taken the time to create a new blog space after the incident with the one I used to have.
Basically this is gonna contain the daily junk that happens in my life and which none of you is interested in reading, but you will still read it cause you're bored and nosey.

Today I don't have alot to do, I tried to delay getting out of bed for as long as possible, cause dreams are a far better place than this.
But a photo I had on my wall fell on my face and woke me up, so here I am.

My mood today: I'm feeling quite stupid and helpless, but then again, why should I care so much about other people when they don't even care about me? Maybe it's time for me to start being a bit more selfish!